Playing the Hand You're Dealt and Embracing Differences

We are faced every day with the opportunity to connect with others via social media.  We are likewise tempted to compare ourselves to others -- and this comparison (while almost never based on reality) seldom ends well.  Do we feel others are outpacing us with friends, vacations, or other life achievements?  Are we even certain that the presentations others' post upon their pages are complete, accurate and the whole story?

Life Control and Response

In life, as in a card game, we are not in control of our circumstances or the gifts we are given. Can a poker player take credit (without cheating) for securing a full house? Perhaps there is some strategy in knowing which cards to release and when to select a new card, but actually having the opportunity to have those winning cards is not fully within the player's control.

In life, we are not in control of the families into which we are born. An alcoholic father, a mentally ill mother, abusive relatives – – these are the cards that some of us have been dealt. We cannot be held responsible or be blamed for those circumstances. 

We can try, according to the gifts we've been given, to climb out of the holes and disadvantages in which we find ourselves.  And then we might actually find that we are given gifts of compency and strength to manage that climb.

Life Comparison

In this day of social media and constant comparison with others, it is easy, and dangerous, to look at those around us, or at others' social media postings, and wonder what is wrong with us if we don't have the wealth, the family, friends, the trappings that others appear to have.  Comparing yourself to others, and measuring what they seem to have with your gifts and blessings, is a fallacy for several reasons.

Not everyone is going to have a wonderful family. Not everyone is going to have a glittering coterie of friends. Not everyone is going to have wealth.  And, not everyone on social media is posting the entire truth.  The wife who constantly praises her husband to the world on Facebook does not mention that she is heartbroken when he neglects her.  Those who appear to have hundreds of friends cannot possibly be given adequate time and attention to all of these virtual acquaintances, to call them real friends.  

Life and Friendship Limitations

Here is an article discussing anthropologist and psychologist Robin Dunbar's findings on the limits of friendship. The Limits of Friendship  Robin Dunbar found that there is a limit to the number of large group acquaintances, close friends, and intimate friends that we are able to handle. Thinking, or expecting, that we should have or do more is unrealistic.

Our Individual Gifts Differ

We have not all been given the same gifts, abilities, or circumstances.

But, what have you been given? 

Has God given you an intellect? Use it. Gain an education. See how far that can take you.

Has God given you athletic ability? Refine your body and work it to the utmost to see how far you can go. See what you can achieve.

Have you been blessed to be born into a loving and close family? Appreciate that gift that you've been given. Not everyone has this gift and for those who don't have it, it's very possibly not their fault that they don't have it.

Obstacles Equal Opportunity

Sometimes the disadvantages that face us can be turned to advantages. 

Are you alone? Use that time to learn a new skill, to accomplish a project, to achieve goals that you couldn't achieve if your life was filled with people or obligations. Alone time gives you excellent opportunity to write a book. 

Did you have an injury? This gives you an excellent opportunity to learn the exercises and rehab techniques to correct that injury. 

Have you been sick? This is an opportunity to learn about your body, and what you can do to heal naturally as much as possible, and also how to use the medical system to move yourself forward.

Instead of focusing on, and wondering why we are sick, alone, friendless, or burdened with other disappointments, our challenge is to look for the positive things we can gain by using these seeming disadvantages and obstacles to learn and grow.

We all face seasons in life. Sometimes our lives are full, and busy. Other times, we go through a winter – – where things are quiet, and we do not see so much activity.

The secret to living well is asking God to help us make the most of every day, and the gifts that we are given. Also, we should be asking for help not to miss our purpose on the earth whatever that might be. Let's not waste our time wondering why we're not like everyone else.

Embrace our Difference

If each of us was like everyone else, we would not be positioned to achieve something unique. It seems to me that when God gives us gifts, or allows disadvantages, the challenge is to look for the potential and the positive outcome. 

World class mountain climbers don't learn to climb the world's highest peaks in one day.  You will not learn everything you need to know overnight, or through an internet search.  Learning happens when we try, and fail, and try again.  And then slowly, but surely, we build skills and competencies to manage the obstacles with which we have been entrusted.

And when we look around at our friends, family and acquaintances, we will not see uniformity.  We will see a vast array of differences -- forged by unique challenges, trials and difficulties.  

Let's face our challenges, and learn from each other, instead of fearing that because we are different, we have somehow missed something.