The Shifting Tide of Friendships

As the tides ebb and flow, so do friendships come and go.

Everyone has experienced the joy or distress of shifting friendships.  We are joyfully surprised when new friends ebb into our lives, and are sorrowful when friends leave.


The distressful ebbing tide of friendship can include a best friend who was once there for you, and with whom you swore eternal allegiance, but who suddenly falls away.  A marriage partner may cheat or lie.  A boyfriend may stop calling.  A family member may betray you.  Sometimes our friends die.


The reasons for friendships shifting away, and the tide of friendship ebbing out, are many, but the shifts away hurt no matter what the reason.  The sand upon which these friendships tide ebb and flow are our lives -- the time that we have to spend here, walking upon the earth.


Sometimes friendships shift in a positive direction.  Perhaps someone with whom you are casually acquainted becomes a new close confidant.  Perhaps you meet new friends, and a few become your day-to-day allies. 


These friendships may shift toward you, as the tide flows in, although we are not able to predict when these ebbs and flows may occur.  But the friendship shifts toward are always welcome, and even a surprise.  The friendship tide can sometimes brings with it treasures from the deep, and those beautiful things can remain, even when the friendship tide recedes.


Sometimes friendships become stuck.  You see them swirling and crashing against the shore, instead of naturally ebbing and flowing peacefully.  Sometimes, you have a choice about whether a friendship ebbs or flows - stays or goes. 


If a friendship always leaves you frustrated, upset and feeling less than who you feel you are supposed to be, walk away.  There is no need for a scene.  You can choose to distance yourself, and see how it feels to move away.  Sometimes that is what you need to do so that you can determine your next step. 
 
If a friendship leaves you energized, and positive, and hopeful for the future, looking ahead to possibilities, embrace that friendship.  Nurture it. Deliberately invest your time and energy supporting it.  If you don't, it could ebb away, and shift back towards others who deliver more appreciation and reward for time spent.


We cannot control the tide, or everything about the ebb and flow of friendship.  We can choose how we respond and react to these events.  Listen to you heart.  Be true to yourself, and the ebb and the flow of the friendship tides, while sometimes painful, will leave you with hope, knowing that there is more to come, instead of only despair for what is lost.


Consider the difference between low and high tides in the images found in Michael Marten's photo comparisons.  These stretches of beach and sand are the same underneath the high and low tide, but they look drastically different depending on the tidal activity.


Our lives are constant, despite the ebb and flow of the tide of friendship.  Our lives may look drastically different when the tide is rolling in, friends and social gatherings are abundant, and we do not lack for companionship.  But when the tide rolls out, and friends ebb away, we are still the same people we were before.  Underneath the ebb and flow of the friendship tide lies our little bit of sand that we call our lives.  And the tide will surely come in again, flowing over the sands of time in our lives, bringing with it hope and treasures from the ocean of friendship.