Do you know where you find your meaning in life?
For some, meaning is found in relationships -- with friends, family, or their significant others.
For some, meaning is found through achievements -- athletic or academic.
For some, meaning is found through their animals -- faithful pets who never leave their side.
For some, meaning is found through their bank balance -- or their spouse's.
Your own life's meaning is probably a combination of one or more of these.
What happens when one or more of these things change?
Friends move away. They marry, and are no longer available as they once were. Sometimes friends simply disappear, or stop being your friend, and you don't know why. Family members disappoint. And at anytime, any of your important people can die.
If your meaning is found through achievement, and you are an athlete, injury or disability could sideline you. However, many inspirational stories of athletes who overcome devastating accidents remind us that there might be another way to achieve. We must find it.
A beloved pet may die. How do we move through that heartbreak? Sometimes, part of the answer is in adopting another pet. But we must, through it all, honor the faithful companion who never let us down -- in memory, with photos, with poetry -- in whatever way brings the most meaning.
Financial prosperity can be fleeting. The stock market crashes, unemployment happens, and your way of life changes. What do you do when your money is all gone?
At times in my life where I feel a bit disoriented, and I feel that I am reaching for something to hang onto, I can usually trace the unanchored feeling to a shift in those things that brought meaning. An important friend has moved -- I feel a bit listless: who will be my buddy now? A pet passes away. Where is the unconditional love that comforted me every day, no matter what? A friend leaves, betrays, or abandons. Who will we talk to, text or email now? Finances were good until -- the car or house repair interrupts the bank balance.
Sometimes several of these meaningful points in our lives shift at once. Then we can feel very uncertain, and wonder if we have caused any of these shifts.
I think it is the nature of life that things change -- relationships change, people move/pass away/leave us/change.
The secret to moving through transition well is recognizing that these phases are temporary. There will be new friends, new relationships, new opportunities. We must honor our past, but not mourn so long that we miss the present, and our future.
Jewel Adams, M.S., L.M.T.
