Unrequited Love and Friendship

Everyone has experienced the pain of offering love and friendship to someone who doesn't want it.  It is embarrassing, and even causes shame, to realize that your deepest and most sincere affections are not only not returned, but are not desired.

Sometimes a person might string you along, enjoying your attentions, with no intention of returning a like friendship or love, but that person enjoys the attention.

It might be more painful when someone is happy to decline your offer openly, and send you on your way.

Because this is painful and embarrassing, few people will talk about their deepest personal wounds of rejection.

Is there anything that hurts more than being rejected?

Sometimes the rejection is obvious -- an open break up, a divorce or an absent family member.

Sometimes the rejections are more subtle, and no one knows -- unless we speak, and the chances good we won't speak about a failed effort to establish a new friendship.

Rejections can occur on a sliding scale.  There can be the outright, "go away" rejection.  There is the person who ignores your calls and emails.  There is the person who says they will meet up with you but never does -- for all intents, this is a rejection but the person is dishonest in his or her communications, which can be confusing.  When in doubt, go with the actions a person displays, not the words they say.

Rejections can occur after deep friendships have taken place.  People change.  Values shift.  Betrayals happen.  And for whatever reason, the friendship no longer fits.  It is hard to tell someone you no longer have a place for them in your inner circle.  Most people probably gradually distance themselves from the person they no longer want to befriend.  Sometimes that is the best way.  Other times, it might be best to simply tell that person that things are no longer working.

The bottom line is, Do not take rejections too much to heart.  Everyone experiences them.  There are more friendships to be had, sometimes just around the corner.  Don't mourn too much for the past, or you might miss your future.