Follow Your Heart, but Honor Your Mind

“Follow your heart, but honor your mind.” – Dustin Brown

Dustin has concisely and beautifully presented not only our need for balance in our everyday lives, but the conflict that can ensue for the sensitive people who want to live idealistic lives, considerate of others, and yet at the same time walk a sensible and mentally healthy path. 

Sometimes people with the most beautiful ideals abdicate from the daily responsibilities of work and responsibilities such as home ownership, animal care and other demanding commitments.  They drop out from society, with the intention of pursuing a higher goal. I believe that because the drudgery of daily work, commitment to others, and being responsible to a boss, might not feel good, or might seem to interfere with their inspiration and reflections, they separate themselves from the things in their lives that seem lesser.  I almost always see these same people struggling to pay their bills, and trying to find ways to solicit funds from others – either through charging for offering idealistic advice (though they may not have the credentials to be offering advice to others), personal training or coaching.  I see a group of people who are trying to carve out a way to survive without having to be accountable to those they might not agree with to make a living.

Here is the truth:  Unless you are independently wealthy, there will always be a necessity to work with people who might not always agree with you in order to make a living.  These conflicts offer an opportunity for advancing diversity skills, through personality awareness and learning how to communicate with those who are different from us.

I see people who are on the other end of the spectrum, also.  I know people who have cut the heart out of their decision-making process (or perhaps it was never there to begin with).  There are people whose personalities do not encompass the feelings of others, and you will see these people in abundance in leadership roles in corporations, and in certain professions where logic and science dictate what is happening, and when and how choices are being made.  The people in these professions are almost never the empathetic, poetic and sensitive souls who feel the pain of others, or who seek to alleviate and heal the pain of those around them.  Because they are not distracted by the consequences of their decisions upon the lives of others, or others’ feelings, they move forward in an unemotional paradigm based on their perception of logic and economy.  In their wake, they leave behind hurt feelings and misunderstandings   The people I have known who are making decisions that cause pain to others are mostly unaware, unconcerned and irritated with the feelings of others if they are brought to their attention.  I have interviewed powerful people who make decisions that impact the lives of others, causing pain and disturbance, and I have not found that they have remorse or concern about those their decisions hurt.  Instead, I find that they are looking with resolve at what they believe needs to be done, and they see themselves as persons willing to make tough decisions for the greater good.  There may very well be truth in these views. 

The conflict between idealistic, empathetic concern for others and their feelings and the need to make sound, rational and logical decisions for long term financial and emotional health is a never ending, ongoing struggle. I don’t believe we can live on only one side of the fence.  If we only pursue idealism, we will end up broke, isolated from the real economic world and without respect from business leaders.  There are a very few who have been able to do this successfully– Mother Theresa comes to mind, as well as Jesus.  But they are rare, and were willing to lose all, with a pure heart, for the sake of their cause.  And both the causes of Jesus and Mother Theresa were devoid of selfless pursuits; they only focused on a spiritual kingdom and the needs of others.  For both Jesus and Mother Theresa, those in need were seen as God’s children, hurting and in want, and both Jesus and Mother Theresa responded to those in need with an attitude of “If I do not respond, then who will?”   Jesus said, “For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,  I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?  And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’” Matthew 25:35-40.

These words of Jesus always move me to tears, even now as I write.  I believe his words extend not only to the suffering of human beings, but to the suffering of other sentient beings as well.  Domestic animals are dependent upon human beings for their food, shelter and care.  In my estimation, the measure of a person’s character can be determined quickly by how he or she responds to the dependent animals who are either in their care, or who cross their path.  How can a person who claims to be enlightened ignore the suffering of another sentient being?  To me, the answer is, the people who are harsh and cruel to animals, and insensitive to their plight, are also missing a huge piece of the heart of God, the creator.  We are meant to live in respect and harmony with the animals, many of whom are designed to be our companions and best friends.  I have said for years that my animals are far better friends to me than most people ever have been.  They do not abandon me, they are not harsh and unforgiving, and they love me unfailingly.  Even when my beautiful cat Sophie was at death’s door a few months ago, she took her last failing moments of strength to answer me, with a weak voice, when I spoke her name in the vet’s office, as she was passing away before our eyes of an incurable illness. My beloved Ernie passed away last year, and the vet tech pointed out to me how much he obviously loved me, as his eyes would track me, weak though he was, and he responded to my voice, and not to anyone else’s.  These memories of Ernie and Sophie’s love, and their sacrificing life’s last few moments of energy to connect with me, love me, and comfort me bring tears to my eyes even now.

Those who live by their head and not by their heart do not seem to have stories of love and connection with animals to share.  I have not seen these people go to great lengths to care for animals or to rescue them. Perhaps they have stories like these with people, but I cannot say. I believe that people who live in the world of decisions ruled by economy and logic miss out upon the beauty and richness of emotional connection with others.  And yet, those who can connect with others must learn to manage their emotions, or they will go under, making illogical choices meant to preserve their feelings and the feelings of others.

The wisest course of action is to follow your heart, but honor your mind.  Thank you, Dustin.  “Study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman that needs not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”  II Timothy 2:15.  Do not fear education, if you are a sensitive feeler – embrace it!  Education provides more tools-- especially for the sensitive feelers--with which to navigate a world that is run by those who have abandoned their hearts (or never were connected to heart in the first place).  Education honors and strengthens the mind.  And in my opinion, sensitive feelers need this strength even more than the logical decision makers.  Sensitive feelers need to learn how to balance their emotions. Education can be a wonderful and safe way to gain perspective and develop new cognitive skills.  If the sensitive feelers can pursue education, honoring and strengthening their minds, then maybe, just maybe, with education, discipline, patience and persistence, the educated feelers can make a difference in the arenas run by those from the other side of the decision-making fence.  Through education and the acquisition of skills that may not come naturally to the feelers, they might be able to earn a place in a workplace run by those who have little to no emotional connection with others.  Educated feelers in the workplace have the opportunity to make a difference, to possibly effect some change, and to gain the respect of those who are making decisions in a different way.  And in so doing, the educated feelers can better take care of themselves and have more to share with those who are in their care.