Regrets

We don't have to go too far in life before we are faced with regret -- as a result of our own choices or others' decisions.

Regret is painful.  There is a sentiment expressed by some that it is better to regret things that are done than things that are undone. In other words, the things undone represent the road we never took and these things haunt us, because we do not really know where it might have led.  We fantasize that our pain, lost relationships and other problems might have been minimized or avoided had we taken a different path.

What if we had chosen a different marriage partner?  A different school? A different job?  A different city in which to live?

Some decisions carry more weight than others.  The choice of a  marriage partner can affect and influence the rest of your life -- for better or for worse.

The choice of a school can determine personal and professional connections for years to come.

The choice of a job can drive the rest of your career.

The choice of a city in which to live can determine many things -- the culture that influences your daily life, the weather and your safety, and the friends and organizations that are available to you.

What do we do when we find ourselves washed up on the shores of regret?  We all face regrets -- the boyfriend we let get away, the job we turned down, the opportunities we might have missed.

I believe when we pine for that which we feel we have lost, we are basing our pain on a misguided belief that another choice would have led to different results.  This is not necessarily true.   The truth is, we cannot possibly know where those other roads would have taken us.  It is possible that they would have ended in a dead end, or in other pain which we have not imagined.

The mentally healthy road accepts regrets as normal, but does not languish there for too long.

For it might be that the road we are taking now is the best one we could have chosen.